StarCraft II comes out tomorrow.  I’m not sure that I really care.  And that seems very weird to say.

In general, I’ve enjoyed Blizzard’s RTS games.  I thoroughly enjoyed WarCraft II and StarCraft.  WarCraft III, I thought, was a weaker title…  But it was still fun.  So I’d assume I’d probably enjoy SC2.  I have no real reason to believe that I wouldn’t…  Aside from WC3 being fairly weak in comparison to the other games.

And I thoroughly enjoyed the storyline presented in the original StarCraft.  There were some real characters that you could sink your teeth into – both good guys and bad.

But I’m just not sure I care that much about a new StarCraft title.

I think they let the franchise languish too long.  It’s been a long time since StarCraft came out.  Aside from some fanatics who’ve been playing the game non-stop for the last 12 years, folks have generally moved on.  I’ve played lots of games in the interim…  Some very good squad-based RTT/RPG kind of things, some very good RTS games…

Blizzard used to have a virtual stranglehold on the RTS market.  Their games were simply the king of the hill.  The only other franchise that gave them any challenge to the throne was Command and Conquer.  But these days C&C isn’t the powerhouse it used to be…  And we’ve got some great new RTS titles like Dawn of War, Supreme Commander II, and Dawn of War II – games that destroy Blizzard’s most recent RTS title in virtually every way possible.

That’s not to say that I’m actively against the idea of playing SC2…  I’m sure it would be a fun enough game.  And I’m curious to see how the storyline evolves.

But I really don’t think I care enough to run out and grab a copy of it, brand new, for $50+.  Especially when this first edition is supposed to focus on the Space Marines…  And there are two subsequent expansions already planned that will focus on the other two races.  And there’s supposed to be an increased focus on multiplayer…

I think I’ll wait until the inevitable Battle Chest is released.

And it seems very odd to say that.  There was a time when I would have been eagerly waiting for this game to come out.  I would have had my money down on a pre-order months ago.

And now, I just don’t care that much.

Hilariously accurate thread on the Bay 12 forums depicting the differences between casual gamers, hardcore gamers, and those of us who play Dwarf Fortress…

It looks like Blizzard is actually willing to listen to their players – they’ve decided not to roll out Real ID on their forums.

Looks like it’s still being implemented in-game to some degree…  But you won’t see anybody’s real name plastered all over their forums any time soon.

Looks like I came back to EVE just in time for Hulkageddon III.

I’m not doing any mining at the moment, and I’m certainly not going to go gank any hulks, but the drama is certainly entertaining.

Yup, even PZ Myers has something to say about Real ID.

There’s been a lot of talk lately about Blizzard’s Real ID initiative.

Basically, you’re going to have to register your real name when you create a Battle.net account.  And that real name is what people will see when you’re posting on forums and whatnot.

Blizzard claims this is  good thing.  It’ll make it easier for you to locate friends and family that you want to play with.  And the lack of anonymity will discourage forum trolls.

Frankly, I think it’s a lousy idea.

One of the first things any netizen is told is not to give out personal information.  It’s a good way to open yourself up to phishing attacks, or stalking, or harassment, or just more spam.  You aren’t supposed to give out any personal information unless you have to.  And now everyone is going to have their real name plastered all over the Blizzard forums.

I’m also not sure I want my real name attached to every comment I make about a video game.  I’m not a professional game reviewer.  When somebody googles my name, I don’t really want the first hit to be a whine about the upcoming warlock changes.  I’d rather they be steered towards the stuff that I’ve intentionally posted under my real name over the years – stuff that’s largely relevant to who I am and how I live my life, and not just relevant to a specific character in a specific game.

I may be a little behind the times in this…  But I’m generally playing a game to escape from reality.  I want, to a certain degree, to stop being me.  I want to put away the stresses of my job, my house, my family, whatever…  I want to pretend to be a dwarf carving out a mountain fortress, or an elite space pirate, or a mighty human warrior.  I want to, at least for a while, exist in a fantasy land.

I usually try to come up with some sort of backstory rationale for my characters.  I usually have some idea of what their personality would be like.  I frequently adopt certain mannerisms and quirks when playing various characters.  It’s all part of the escapism provided by a game.

When I’m playing Half-Life, I’m Gordon Freeman – research scientist turned pan-dimensional freedom fighter.

When I’m playing World of Warcraft, I’m Olvyl – warlock of the alliance and fearsome foe of all things daemonic.

I don’t really want to have to be myself in every single game I play.

One of the big reasons that I don’t enjoy voice communication in games is that it really shatters the fourth wall for me.

I’m not really talking about guys who play female characters…  And you assume they’re female, until you hear them talking, and they turn out to be male.  Honestly, in most games, I don’t really associate a gender with anyone.  Your avatar is generally just something cool to look at.  It’s a virtual world…  Until game mechanics allow us to procreate, we’re all essentially genderless.

I’m talking about playing with a mighty dwarven paladin who fearlessly leads us into battle.  Directing us safely though the terrors of various raid dungeons.  Keeping calm through the worst of it.  Giving sage advice in moments of doubt.  A grizzled veteran of many wars.

…and then he gets on Vent, and all I can hear is some squeeky kid with his mom yelling for him to take out the trash in the background.

Obviously the kid still knows what he’s doing.  He still managed to lead a lot of successful raids.  But the illusion that we’re being led by a grizzled dwarven paladin in an epic battle against the forces of darkness is just plain gone. We’re back to sitting in our basements playing video games.

I guess I’m probably in the minority here…  Facebook is insanely popular, and that’s got all sorts of personal information all over it.  And voice coms are pretty much standard these days.  But it still feels like a step in the wrong direction.

Steam has had an assortment of sales over the last week or so.  One of these sales had Clive Barker’s Jericho marked down to just a couple dollars.  I loved Clive Barker’s Undying, and it’s been a while since I played a shooter, so I picked it up.

Roughly 10 minutes after starting the game I was pounding my keyboard in frustration.

It was immediately apparent that this game was originally developed for the consoles and then ported over to the PC.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing…  It’s pretty common these days…  But it makes for some vaguely odd UI decisions.  The main menu was designed to be navigated with a gamepad, not a mouse.  Yes, there was a cursor, and you could point and click…  But it really worked better just navigating the menus with the arrow keys.

Now, I realize that WASD is kind of the default keyboard layout for a shooter.  It’s what everyone uses.  It’s what Jericho defaults to.  But it isn’t what I like to use.  I prefer to use ESDF.  I can comfortably rest my fingers right on the home row, with the little bump under my index finger to ensure I’ve got them on the right keys without even looking.  I’ve got plenty of other keys around those movement keys too…  More, I think, than if you’re using WASD.  And, since this is a PC game, I can re-map my controls to pretty much anything I want.

Then I started up a new game…

You get an intro cutscene kind of thing, but from the first-person.  You see your arms and legs moving around as you answer the phone in the middle of the night.  You’re being called up to go save the world.  Then you’re on a helicopter with the rest of your team, being briefed on the mission.  Then you’re landing outside of some ancient ruins in the middle of a sandstorm.

Now, I find the whole first-person cutscene thing kind of annoying.  The idea in a first-person shooter is that you are that character.  That you are the one making the decisions.  If you take control out of my hands and make my character do things without my input it messes with that premise.  Suddenly I’m not in control.  Suddenly I’m not that character.  If you must have my character do things without my input you really ought to go to a regular cutscene and show the whole thing in the 3rd person.

The next bit continued to be annoying by taking control away from me.

They start out the tutorial by telling me how to move around…  But, for some reason, I’m stuck moving at a snail’s pace.  We’re in hostile territory, there’s a sandstorm, everyone around me is sprinting for cover, but I’m just slowly moseying along.

We enter some kind of building or tunnel.  There’s another first-person cutscene while we examine some carvings in the stone.  Somebody makes a joke about being a god.  There’s a tremor or earthquake or something.  We all run for cover.  I fall down a chasm.  And then there’s this sudden-death event where I have to hit specific movement keys to pull myself to safety.

This is a little unusual in a PC shooter…  But it’s a port from the console, so I guess it’s forgivable.  Still, if I wanted to play some kind of button-mashing rythm game I wouldn’t have bought a shooter.

Anyway, I have to push the right-strafe button to grab a rock…  Then the left-strafe button…  And then I fall to my death.  The game helpfully rewinds to the part where I first fell down the chasm, so I don’t have to start the level over from the beginning.

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

After going through this a few times, I figure maybe they want me to use the arrow keys, instead of my movement keys.

Right…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Dead…  Rewind…

Nope, definitely doesn’t help to use the arrow keys.  It isn’t even noticing when I hit the right-arrow.  I must just be doing it wrong, not timing it right or something.  I go back to using my movement keys.

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

Right…  Left…  Dead…  Rewind…

By this point I’m pretty frustrated.  I double-check the controls to see if there’s some other button I should be pressing during these sudden-death things.  Nope, no such luck.  So I check on-line…

Over at GameFAQs there’s a number of threads on this very subject.  Turns out there’s an issue with the control mapping.  The game assumes you’re using WASD during those sudden-death things.  If you aren’t, it won’t work right.

So I re-map my keys to WASD.

Right…  Left…  Right…  Up…  Right…  Safety!

But now I’m having to play with WASD instead of ESDF.  Not a huge deal, but not as comfortable or intuitive as I’d like.

So, now we’re wandering through these ruins, looking for survivors or something.  We come across some monsters.  They’re obviously monsters.  They look like some kind of zombies with a sword for an arm.  Very obviously not civilians or contemporary soldiers or friendly people.

Somebody (me?) is yelling for people to hold their fire.  Yelling that we’re US Marines.  Put down your weapons.  Put your hands up.  We’re friendly.  Etc.

And nobody can shoot.

I try shooting at the obviously monstrous things in front of us, and I can’t.  It just will not allow me to shoot at these things until the little cutscene thing has played out.  Eventually we decide they’re hostile, and everyone opens fire.

Now, the first problem I have with this, is that they’re obviously not friendly.  It makes me wonder what kind of idiots these Jericho folks are.  They’re actually willing to believe that a bunch of rotting zombies with swords for arms might be friendly.

The next problem is that you’ve once again taken control away from me in order to facilitate your storytelling.  Bad idea.

If you really have to tell the story your way, leave the first-person perspective.  Move out to a third-person camera and show me what’s going on like a scene in a movie.

If you want to stay in the first-person, let me make my own decisions.

What’s worse is that this could have been done much, much better.  The game should have left me in first-person perspective, while somebody yelled for us to hold fire.  There also should have been a real possibility that the critters were friendly…  Maybe some dust and smoke obscuring them, maybe they look like soldiers at first.

Allow me, the player, to choose whether I hold fire or not.  If I wait too long, have one of the monsters kill someone.  Just for the moment, give them some crazy-powerful one-hit kill.  This makes them obviously hostile and we’ll all open fire on them.  And after the firefight you can use the downed team member as a tutorial opportunity to show me how to heal folks.

And if I’ve played through the game before, or am just suspicious or violent or whatever, let me open fire early and prevent that person from getting struck down.

Anyway…  We deal with our first batch of monsters.  We wander around some more, kill some more monsters.  I’m shown how to order a group to stay put or to follow me.  We wander some more, kill some more monsters.  Enter the bunker, kill some more monsters, leave the bunker.

And it quickly becomes apparent that the game is incredibly linear.  Not just in terms of storyline progression or general map layout…  But in terms of giving you basically only one way to get from point A to point B.  Even when you’re outside, you may as well be confined to a corridor.  You’ve got just one path from here to there.  They might as well put you on rails.

And, speaking of rails, that’s what the combat reminds me of – a rail shooter, like Time Crisis or House of the Dead.

You walk down the corridor from one place to another…  And along the way some monsters pop out.  Your team takes up defensive positions and starts shooting.  You start shooting.  The monsters slowly approach you.  You slowly gun them down.  Eventually you run out of monsters, and you move on the to next encounter.

It feels like a rail shooter, where you stand in one place and kill enemies as they come at you.  Then, after running out of enemies, you move up to the next scene and kill some more.

There’s no fluidity to the combat.  No running and gunning.  No diving for cover.  No maneuvering for advantage.  Just stand there and keep shooting.  And you can’t even approach the enemy from a different direction, or ambush them, or anything like that – because you’re stuck in the corridor from point A to point B.

Also, like a rail shooter, you don’t have to worry about ammo.  One of your team members periodically rewinds time in your gun back to when the clip was full.  There are no ammo pickups to look for.  No hidden caches of supplies.  No feeling that you might find yourself having to use your gun for a club because you’ve got no bullets left.  Sure, it’s probably possible to run out of ammo…  But it would only be a momentary inconvenience.

So, you’re going along on rails, shooting things.  And there’s really no health to worry about either.  You either get struck down in a firefight, or you don’t.  You’re basically always at full health.

If you take a few hits in a fight you can get knocked down.  If there’s nobody around to heal you then it is game over…  But usually you get healed.  And then you’re right back to shooting, good as new.  No lingering effects or anything.  So, as long as you’re standing at the end of the firefight, you’re just fine.

So, there’s no ammo to worry about…  And no health to worry about…  Which greatly diminishes any suspense or fear you might have going on.  And what little suspense left is completely demolished by the fact that you’re walking down a corridor from one firefight to the next.  It feels more like I’m going through a haunted house at a carnival than a battlefield full of demons and monsters.

So, I’m being forced to use WASD to move…  Except that movement is kind of superfluous.  They could just put me on rails and move me from one firefight to the next.

And, frankly, my participation in the firefight is kind of superfluous as well.  The rest of my team is shooting away without my help.  I don’t really need to tell them what to do.  And if anyone gets killed they just get healed back up.  And the monsters take so many shots to kill that it isn’t like my one gun is going to make a huge difference.  I could just sit back and sip my coffee while the rest of my team does the fighting.

Which leaves only those sudden-death things to keep me on my toes.  But they aren’t really sudden-death…  They’re more like sudden-inconvenience, because at worst you’ll rewind to the beginning of the sudden-death event and be given a second (third, fourth, fifth, sixth…) chance at it.

I don’t even have to worry about forgetting to save and losing an hour’s worth of progress if I die because the game saves automatically for me.

So, basically, I’m left with some kind of interactive story or movie…  Except that all the interactive bits feel like an afterthought.  It feels like all the gameplay elements were bolted-on at the last minute.  It feels like they just want me, the player, to get out of the way and let them tell the story.

Now, I certainly don’t have a problem with storytelling.  One of the things that I liked so much in Undying was the terrific story.  I thoroughly enjoy a good story in my games.

But they still have to be games.  They have to be something fun to play, not something that you sit back and passively absorb.  That’s what differentiates a game from a TV show or movie.

And, ultimately, Jericho fails to be something fun to play.

There may be a terrific story there.  There might be some amazing visuals.  There could be some awesome dialogue.  I’ll never know.  The awkward gameplay mechanics have ensured that I’ll never see anything beyond the first hour or so.  I’ve already un-installed it and have absolutely no desire to give it another try.

Just noticed that Dragon Age is updating a publicly available profile over on BioWare‘s site…  So, in case you’re curious:  clicky!